


Contact

by luxwrites



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Plans, and gentle friendly touches, for this, i have, she just needs hugs, the team slowly realizes that, touch starved jester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-04-24 23:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14365869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxwrites/pseuds/luxwrites
Summary: It wasn’t anything she could put a name to. Just a feeling; a desperation deep inside; a loneliness that threatened like a great, howling pit. She needed to be back in the inn, in her and Beau’s room, where she could crawl under the covers while Beau snored, so she wouldn’t be tempted. To ask someone to reach out to her. To hold her. To just… touch.tldr; Jester just needs physical contact sometimes b/c touch-starved mischievous tiefling is a sad sad combo and I needed it in my life.You don't need to read it in order, you can just read the chapter with your fave in it if you want and it'll still make sense <3Comments sustain me, pls feed the hungry fic-writer.Rating only because of a couple mentions of blood.





	1. Fjord

**Author's Note:**

> My first work in the CR fandom! I'm a D&D and CR newb, so excuse any errors I make.  
> Short chapters but frequent updates are how I do things.  
> Thanks for reading this far <3

“Jester, what’re you doing?” Fjord huffed, feeling like his lungs were about to pop.  
“ _Fjoooord_ , I am hugging you!” Jester giggled, finally releasing her hold on his torso enough that Fjord could breathe again.  
“Well, yes Jester, I can see that-”  
“You almost _died_ Fjord! I’m happy you’re not dead. So I’m hugging you!”  
Fjord had to admit he had been on the brink. That arachnid had been a force to contend with, and it had gotten the jump on him several times during battle, emerging from the shadows.  
By the time Beau dove in with the killing blow, Fjord was lying prone, his head bashed to pieces and blood oozing out of a huge gash in his side.  
Fortunately Jester had her healer’s kit and patched him up enough to not bleed to death in a damned cave.  
“Thank you, Jester,” Fjord whispered to her.  
She tucked her face into his chest, her nose poking just below his sternum, a button of cold amidst the rest of her everpresent warmth. Fjord reached his long arms around her, realizing only now that she was shivering ever so slightly. Concerned, he went to break away to get the small scarf he kept with him nowadays.  
Before he could get far, however, Jester’s grip on him tightened once more, and a tiny, desperate sound escaped her.  
Fjord still couldn’t see her face, but that was all the indication he needed to wrap his arms around her once more, just standing in the dimming light of day as the rest of the team began packing up the parts of the creature that were worth anything.  
Eventually Jester’s shivering subsided. When she dropped her arms to her side, Fjord followed suit, trying and failing to catch her eye.  
“Ey, Jester, I’m uh- gonna go lend a hand, alright?” He said.  
“Yes yes, I should be helping too.” The corners of Jester’s mouth quirked up. “You know, I could just carry the whole thing into town and then we wouldn’t have to cut it up.”  
Fjord chuckled, turning away, “Yeah, you probably could.”  
As he moved to join the others, Fjord thought he heard a small, crushed sigh from behind him, but when he turned to look back, Jester flashing him a huge grin with her mischievous eyes twinkling at him.  
He must have misheard. Jester's behaviour earlier had been a fluke, she'd been shaken up by nearly losing a teammate, anyone would have reacted similarly. Fjord's mind must just be playing tricks on him, that was all.  
Jester was hauling parts of the creature to their wagon just fine, chatting happily with everyone as she did so, her little blue form hopping from task to task.  
_Yeah,_ Fjord thought, _Jester's fine._


	2. Beau

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the last chapter! I couldn't believe that other people were interested in this story too :DD I'll try to keep updates to at least two/week, hopefully three. <3 Enjoy Beau's turn to help Jester through. (finished writing this at 2:05am after kupocon so... be gentle pls)

Beau awoke to a quiet whimpering on the other side of the room. Moonlight shone through a gap in the battered curtains, but all outside the inn was quiet. It couldn’t be much past one in the morning.  
“Jester?” Beau whispered, the sound loud in the near-silent room.  
The whimpering immediately stopped. Or rather, it sounded like Jester had thrown an arm over her mouth in an attempt to stop it.  
“Jester, what’s wrong?”  
Silence. A whimper. Longer silence. Beau had never been a particularly patient person, and that did not change just because it was the middle of the night and her friend was being stubborn.  
With a sigh, Beau threw back her covers, letting the chilly air hit her warm skin, feeling goosebumps threaten along her arms and legs. Placing her feet on the rough wooden floor, Beau maneuvered her way to Jester’s bed.  
Jester lay with her left arm slung over her mouth and her eyes shut so tightly that the skin around them wrinkled. Jester’s blankets lay off to the wall side of the bed, bunched up. Confused, Beau crouched beside the bed.  
“Jester? Are you in pain?”  
When there was no response from Jester, Beau huffed, “Jester, I know you’re awake. How do I fix it?”  
Finally Jester’s eyes flickered open, and what Beau saw she wasn’t sure a simple health potion would heal.  
A desperation akin to a man next in line to be hanged danced behind Jester’s eyes, and another whimper from her made Beau make up her mind.  
Carefully, Beau reached across to the bunched up blankets, un-bunching them, and placing them at the bottom of the bed.  
Then slowly, she sat on the bed and swung her legs up so she was right beside Jester. Wiggling so that she could rest her back against the wooden headboard, Beau finally reached out an arm to wrap it around Jester, the other hand pulling the covers back over both the tiefling and herself.  
A brief moment of resistence on Jester’s part, but she soon wound her arms around Beau’s torso, placing her head on Beau’s stomach. A last whimper escaped her as Beau threaded her fingers through her hair.  
The two remained in that position for several minutes until finally, _finally_ , Jester spoke up.  
“Beau?” Her voice was crackly.  
“Yeah Jester?”  
“Can you sing to me?”  
Beau hesitated. She wasn’t exactly the best singer, and she didn’t know all that many songs.  
“Uh, I’m not that great at uh- Ah fuck it, I’m a terrible singer, Jester, I don’t think you’d like it.”  
Jester looked up at her with wide purple eyes.  
“But _Beau_! I am sure I will like it.” And then her voice went small again. “Please?”  
Beau huffed once again, “Alright fine, but don’t forget you asked for it.”  
Beau started humming a simple tune she’d heard in the bar earlier that night. She couldn’t quite remember all the rules, so she just sang the ones she remembered. By the time she was a minute in, Jester was shaking so she stopped.  
“Woah hey, you okay?”  
Jester looked up at her again and burst into a fit of giggles, peeling laughter that filled the room and seemed to sweep them up in its joy. Beau grinned down at Jester.  
“See, I _told_ you I wasn’t any good!”  
Jester just continued to giggle. Beau kept her arm around her friend and laughed with her until they both settled down again for the night. Beau had slept in worse positions, sitting up was not ideal but certainly not a problem either. Just as she was about to slip into unconsciousness, Jester whispered.  
“Thank you Beau,” quietly lay in the air for a moment. Without opening her eyes, Beau smiled and hummed.  
“Anytime Jester.”


	3. Caleb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief moment of touch, but needed nonetheless.

“Caleeeeeeeeb,” Jester’s voice broke through the bubbles surrounding Caleb and he set his book down in surprise. Since his first experience in a bathhouse, Caleb had somewhat taken to the luxury of hygiene…. 

Truth be told he couldn’t care less about the smell that plagued him, it was more the indulgence of reading a book while submerged in warmth. Like his whole body was wrapped in freshly baked bread. It wasn’t a desire he often indulged, but today had been especially difficult. 

The Nein had been arguing all day. It had started as a disagreement over whether or not to tell their new acquaintance their plans, but soon had divulged into insults and petulant shouting about who should lead the group and why the Nein were even a group in the first place and why Molly was always so secretive and why Beau couldn’t mind her own damn business. 

Caleb had mostly borne witness to the argument rather than participate, and he had watched Fjord and Jester trying to play peacekeepers while the other four went at it. 

But the bathhouse had been an escape from the tension between the group members, and Caleb had welcomed it. He’d given up trying to get Nott to come with him when he’d seen her trailing after Fjord with one hand on her crossbow, shouting insults like “water-ballow” and “Semen seaman.” 

For three quarters of an hour, the bathhouse had been a welcome quiet, no one to be seen other than a few other bathers in the hallway as Caleb had walked to his own bath. But now, out of the mist, still calling his name, emerged Jester, still fully clothed save for her boots, grinning down at him. 

“Caleb! Hello.” She sat down on the edge of the sunken bath and dipped her calves into the warm water. Caleb just stared at her in shock and confusion. 

“Hello Jester. Are you needing something?” He asked hesitantly. 

Jester’s grin was still firmly in place. 

“What? Oh no Caleb, I was just looking for you! You ran away and no one knew where you went so I wanted to come and find you.” 

“Oh,” He hadn’t realized that the others might worry about his whereabouts. Other than Nott, of course, but she had seemed preoccupied and he hadn’t wanted to bother anyone. 

“Beau and Yasha went to the bookstore, and Fjord and Molly went to look in the bakery.” Jester’s smile had sunk a little, but it resumed it’s full beam on her next thought. “I didn’t really think you were at the bakery, I just wanted them to get me donuts.” Jester’s delighted giggle made Caleb smile just a tiny bit back at her. 

“Thank you Jester, I- I- Thank you for coming to look for me.” Caleb found himself surprisingly emotional. 

No one had really ever searched for him before. No one had cared before. Except Nott.

Jester’s grin faltered again. 

“I came here because no one thought you would be here. But I knew you would be here, I _knew_ it.” She paused a moment. “I also didn’t really like the arguing. You know? Everyone was so… _angry_ …” 

Caleb nodded in response, staring into the bubbles of the bath. 

“You did well to calm them down,” He said to the bubbles. 

“It didn’t work, though. They were still angry when they went to look for you.” She added in a quiet voice, “Usually it works.”

Caleb looked up from his bubbles again, surprised to see tears in Jester’s eyes. It looked _wrong_ , seeing Jester cry. It was like seeing the sun in the middle of the night. Fundamentally wrong. 

“Jester?” He tried. 

Jester swiped at her face with her hand, wiping away the wetness only for more tears to replace it. 

Caleb stayed still for a moment, watching. She didn’t seem to be able to stop them. 

So, slowly and carefully, allowing Jester to see what he was doing, Caleb placed his hand on top of Jester’s. She was still wiping her eyes with her other hand, but she looked down at the pale skin and blue skin together for a moment. Caleb gave her hand a light squeeze. 

“Jester. This is not your fault,” He said, removing his hand after he’d finished. 

With a sniffle and a final swipe at her eyes, Jester’s smile began to grow again. With it, so did Caleb’s until the two of them started giggling. 

Caleb didn’t really know why, just knew that it felt good to hear Jester’s laugh again. 

At least, he didn’t know why until Jester had pulled her feet out of the water, walked to the door, and shouted, “YOU ARE _NAKED_ CALEEEEB!” before disappearing out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter just... emerged out of nowhere. Like the rest of this fic. It just writes itself because the characters are so clear. But basically I don't see Caleb as being a touchy person, and I know that sometimes, it doesn't have to be a full-on cuddle sesh for touch to be comforting and important. So I hope that came across! 
> 
> Pls feed me comments. I wrote this because comments happened on the last chapter.


	4. Nott

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nott and Jester sit in the moonlight.

“Jester, are you… _okay_?” Nott had hesitated long enough, but she had to know.   
No one else was around, she had been the only one to exit the noisy bar after Jester several minutes earlier. Jester had stood up from the table suddenly, announcing that she needed some fresh air. The rest of the group chalked it up to Jester’s usual way of bouncing through her thoughts and acting on her instincts, but Nott had been curious about her friend.  
Nott had exited quietly, not wanting to draw attention during a night as dark as this in a city so unfriendly to goblins. It took her a minute to spot the blue tiefling, standing in the tall grass of the field next to the building that housed the bar.   
The grass swayed in the wind and Nott felt all at once as though she was observing a specifically private moment between Jester and herself.  
But she also didn’t want to leave Jester standing alone, unguarded in a field in the wee hours of the morning.   
So she had waited, just watching from the shadow cast by the bar against the harsh moonlight.   
She had waited.   
And waited.   
It must have been half an hour that she spent watching out for her friend. She almost interrupted several times but she held back.  
It was Jester’s collapse to the ground that made her approach.   
Her feet crunched grass underneath her; sharper than she had expected.  
The grass was itchy, too, and was made no less itchy by the way the wind blew it tickling onto Nott’s arms and legs and face.  
Winding her way around rocks, Nott made a small trail to Jester only to find her sitting on the ground, silent tears falling down her face, one arm and her tail wrapped around her torso, the other hand was splayed out on the ground, like the roots of a tree risen above the earth.  
“Jester?” Nott tried again, and this time, Jester seemed to notice her presence.  
Jester wiped at her cheeks, not moving from her seat on the ground. When she looked back at Nott, there were still tears in her eyes and a sad smile on her lips.  
“Hello Nott,” she said quietly. Nott sat beside her. Jester looked up at the moon.   
They stayed like that for several moments until Jester broke the silence.  
“I am sometimes not always so happy. I don’t know _why_ , I just know that I feel… _alone_. Even though there are so many people! Is that stupid?” Jester was still staring up at the moon.   
Some life had returned to her eyes as she spoke, even despite the sadness of her words.  
“Jester, I don’t think that’s stupid. I don’t think that’s stupid at all. I think… I think you should feel however you need to feel, and if we can help you, we will. Or _I_ will. If you don’t want to tell anyone else.”  
The crickets chirped in the grass around them. Jester’s smile widened slightly.  
“I sometimes ask The Traveller for help, but he’s very busy and I don’t want to _bother_ him.”  
“Jester, you are never a bother. If you ever need me, you only have to ask.” Nott needed her friend to understand. She wrapped her small arm around Jester's shoulders. Jester did not have to suffer these moments alone if she did not want to.  
“Okay,” Jester whispered.  
Nott didn't know if Jester actually believed her, but she supposed this would have to do for now. She would just have to keep reminder her friend until she got it through her head.   
The two sat there another moment, blue and green in a sea of waving yellow, bathed in cold, white moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know this took a long time to come out. Just lost inspiration for a bit there because I didn't have time to listen to the new episodes! But I'm caught up now, and my inspiration is back full force. Expect more in the near future, sorry this one's so short and kind of a different tone, but I felt Nott and Jester's friendship is deeper than we see during their exchanges in the episodes and wanted this one to have some... idk gravitas? 
> 
> tldr; I'm back, more soon <3


	5. Yasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yasha learns how to friendship (sort of)

“Can I ride on your back, Yasha?!” Jester was practically jumping up and down with excitement.  
The Nein had awoken early that morning to set out on their daily quest, anticipating a long journey and a hard-fought battle to complete their quest.   
Except apparently luck had been on their side. Their foes had been holed up in a cave near to the town they’d travelled to the previous day, and with a series of deadly blows, the ogres had fallen quickly and hard. It was like they’d been moving in complete synergy the entire fight, with Jester catching the finishing blow to the final ogre.  
The blue tiefling had been a sight, standing atop a giant ogre, covered in its blood, her scythe sticking out of its right eyeball, a gleeful grin adorning her features.  
Everyone on the team had cheered for her.  
It was as Yasha approached to help Jester down from the ogre’s mountainous stomach that Jester asked for a piggy-back ride.  
Yasha hesitated, noting with distaste the pungent smell of ogre blood emanating from Jester now. She almost smelled worse than Caleb.  
Then again, Yasha was no stranger to getting covered in blood. After a brief moment, she turned around, offering her back to Jester.  
“Thank youuu!” Jester squeaked and leapt onto Yasha’s back. Yasha barely swayed with the change of weight before beginning to join the rest of the group.  
“You were uh, very good… at… _that_ ,” Yasha said as she walked, not entirely sure of her words, as always. She really had been impressed with Jester’s speed and strength during the fight. Not that she hadn’t been before, just that today in particular-  
Jester interrupted her circular train of thought.  
“Thank you Yasha. I’m so happy we won!” Yasha smiled at the joy ringing in Jester’s voice.  
For the rest of the trek back to town, Jester told and re-told the events of the battle, despite all of their teammates being completely conscious the entire time. No one seemed to mind. Beau and Molly even chimed in a few times with moments Jester had missed.  
As the sun began to set, Yasha was glad to see the lights of the town in the near distance.   
Yasha prided herself on her strength, but carrying another being for any length of time proved a tiring effort.   
She didn’t exactly have a reason for not putting Jester down earlier, she only felt somehow that doing so would dampen Jester’s mood. And her friend’s joy was so infectious that she hadn’t really noticed her tiredness until the town was near anyway.  
“Jester, I’m going to set you down, okay?” Yasha asked.  
“Okay!” Jester clambered down from Yasha’s back. Yasha noticed again how Jester’s clothing and hair were covered with the insides of the last ogre and winced. Washing that out would not be fun. Everything about ogres, inside and out, was sticky.  
As the group made their way to the inn, however, Yasha saw how Jester slowly deflated.   
Jester began to pick crusted blood off her arms and dress and cape. She stopped re-telling the “Epic Battle of Ogre Baddies” (as she had dubbed it). Her hands picked at her clothes and skin almost incessantly by the time they had all come upon the inn.  
As they waited for Beau, Molly, and Fjord to sort out the rooms for the night. Yasha strolled up to Jester again, who was now madly picking at her hair.  
As Yasha walked over, Jester looked up at her from her seat.  
“Yashaaaa, will you help me please?”  
Yasha blinked for a moment before realizing what Jester wanted.  
“Oh, um, with your hair?”  
“Yes please, Yasha, thank you!”  
As soon as Yasha’s hands began gently tugging at Jester’s hair, the tiefling’s eyes closed, and the heaviness that had seemed to be surrounding her for the last while dissipated. A happy hum resonated in her throat, and Yasha found herself smiling just slightly.  
When the others returned with the room assignments for the night, Yasha was happy to carry a sleeping Jester up to their rooms, with Beau holding open the various doors.   
When Beau and Yasha tried to leave for their own beds, Jester’s hands shot out, and her eyes found Beau’s. A silent plea that Beau seemed to understand.  
“Alright,” was all Beau said, looking to Yasha, who shrugged before sitting down on Jester’s bed to comb through her hair again. Beau took up the other side of Jester’s bed, laying an arm over her.  
Yasha found that maybe she understood. Why Jester had acted the way she had. She had just needed... _something_. A moment of physical connection to the people around her. A kind touch. Yasha could not deny that she had felt similarly in the past. She had just never had the courage to ask. She looked over Jester with this in mind. To have the courage to ask for something like that…  
Yasha smiled. Tomorrow, they could deal with the mess on Jester’s clothes. But tonight, their champion tiefling needed sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo! It's unedited (mostly) but here it is. I'm really happy with this one, because I didn't realize that it was actually about Yasha until I finished writing it. This one had more of a focus on what Yasha learns from Jester's ability to ask for what she needs from her friendships. This is something I'm still learning to do in my own relationships, and it just occured to me, with all of Yasha's awkwardness, that maybe she doesn't know that asking for things is okay too. Not sure if that makes much sense to anyone, but there it is.  
> Also happy Thursday! I'm cosplaying Jester at a con this Sunday and I'm so excited! If you want to see my shenanigans, I'm on instagram at valentinecosplays.  
> Okay, that's all. I love you all for your comments and kudos, you're seriously helping so much, every single person who comments motivates me to write more and write more often. <3


	6. Molly. (a tribute)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jester and Molly dance at the inn.

“Molly! Will you dance with me?” Jester’s voice cut through Molly’s near-sleep thoughts, but his minor annoyance fizzled when he saw the dazzling smile that always seemed to adorn his friends face. Far from innocent, she was, but optimism was a particular strength of hers.  
  
The day had gone like many others; the Nein had fought a battle, won, returned to retrieve a modest reward, and proceeded to drink a little too much at the best local bar.  
  
The rest of their group had spread out around the bar, Beau making a pitiful attempt to make Yasha jealous by “flirting” with the barmaid.  
  
Caleb sat with Nott, hunched over a book of some kind while Nott was obviously eyeing every ring on every finger in the room, including Molly’s own.  
  
Fjord sat at another table, surrounded by various women and men, telling stories of his days as a sailor—perhaps not altogether truthful, but entertaining nonetheless.  
  
Jester, at the moment, stood in all her semi-drunken splendor. Her smile reached all the way to the edges of her eyes, and her feet didn’t stop moving even as she offered a hand to Molly.  
  
Pushing himself away from his spot in the shadows of the wall, Molly let Jester take his arm and whirl him onto the dance floor.  
  
Jester’s small stature belied her immense strength, and Molly let himself be whirled around for a minute or two before finally accepting that the dancing was happening.  
  
The fiddle kept the two tieflings in time, and soon they spun around the crowd, feet almost floating on the cracked wooden floorboards.  
  
They narrowly missed the barmaid as she passed through with a tray of trosts. She cursed and managed to duck out of the way, and gave a much wider birth next time she delivered drinks.  
  
It had been a while since Molly had had the chance to perform. The circus seemed… so long ago…  
  
But tonight, the crowd had cleared, and everyone- even their teammates- watched in awe as the purple and blue tieflings tore around the room.  
  
They neared the corner where Caleb had holed up to read his book, and Molly saw out of the corner of his eye that Caleb’s book lay upon the table.  
  
On a second glance, Molly’s gaze met Caleb’s eyes. The wizard's astounded face made Molly want to laugh, but the blushing wizard only smiled widely and began to clap in time.  
  
Soon, the whole place had joined in on the clapping, cheering the dancers on.  
  
Molly felt his soul sizzle as his hand gripped tight to Jester’s. Twisting and turning as they were, their hands were always in contact. A squeeze, a push, a pull; at a moment’s notice, they were on to the next move.  
  
Jester giggled at one point, and Molly followed her gaze to see Fjord’s jaw practically trailing on the ground.  
  
When the half-orc caught them staring, he quickly snapped it shut, proceeding to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. The crowd that had surrounded him earlier were equally transfixed by the two dancing tieflings.  
  
When the fiddle finally sang it’s last, sharp note, Molly realized he had ended up on top of the bar. He could feel the thrill of a performance through his ale-dulled blood.  
  
Every nerve in his body stood on end. Looking over at Jester, he saw the same spark in her eyes, both of them drinking in the attention, and felt a sudden surety in the way her hand squeezed his.  
  
That, no matter what, she would always be ready to dance with him again.  
  
Just before they stepped apart, Jester pulled Molly in to a tight hug, strong arms wrapped around him.  
  
“You are a really good dancer, Molly. Thank you for... dancing with me,” She said, squeezing for a second longer before beginning to back away.  
  
Molly felt himself smile as he watched the rest of their team make their way towards them.  
  
“You did all the work,” Molly winked, “but I think I’ll have to take my leave now. I’ll be back soon.”  
  
With that, the vibrant purple tiefling vanished out the door into the night, leaving the shouts of his name by his teammates behind for the cold, dark air. He would return, but not tonight. Not for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was the hardest to write, but after tonight's episode, I needed to do something. He's gone. At least for now, and I needed the end of this chapter to reflect that.  
> Pls feed me comments I need that good good response to keep me writing


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